Mr. & Mrs. Victor A. Wagner, Jr.
1998 July 9th

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This is the text of the wedding ceremony


gary: Gary Granville, Commisioner of Marriages (performing the ceremony)
joan: Joan Janell Harris (the bride)
vic: Victor A. Wagner, Jr. (the groom)

gary:      We are here with family and friends to unite in a celebration of love and marriage.

      You are reminded, Joan and Vic, that love, loyalty, honesty, and understanding are the foundations of a truly happy and enduring marriage.

      The promises you make to one another are promises of commitment and devotion. Your commitments to each other are not only as lifetime partners. They are commitments of a companion and friend as well -- a friend with whom you will share your hopes, dreams, ambitions, successes, and yes, sometimes your disappointments and sorrows that are a part of all of our lives.

      Love, after all, lets you share your life with someone while letting you be yourself with someone who will always support you.
      Love lets you speak your innermost feelings to someone who knows you and understands you.
      It lets you feel tenderness and warmth -- a wholeness that avoids loneliness. Love lets you feel complete.

      However, in order to have a long lasting love relationship, you must make an unbending commitment to each other. We here today know that you do make such a commitment and will be devoted to one another.
      This closeness of yours will help you to be together always in your heart, though sometimes separated by miles.

      And as you live the commitments to love, you will live your dreams between awakenings for afterall there is no limit to love's forbearance, its truth, its power to endure.

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      To you, Vic, and to you, Joan, I would say happiness in marriage doesn't just happen. A good marriage must be created, nurtured and worked at. And in marriage, little things are big things...
      Marriage is never being too old to hold hands
      It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once each day.
      It is never going to sleep angry.
      Marriage is not taking the other for granted; your courtship shouldn't end here today. It should continue through all your years together.
      A solid marriage is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives; it is the two of you, Joan and Vic, standing together facing the world and all it has to offer you.
      It is also forming a circle of love around you that gathers in family and friends.
      Marriage is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in a spirit of joy.
      It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
      It should be understood marriage is about giving rather than receiving.
      There are things that marriage is not.
      For example, it is not looking for perfection in each other It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
      Nor is marriage a winner take all arrangement. It is sharing, sharing in all things.
      It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
      It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each of you can grow to meet your full potential as individuals.
      Marriage certainly is finding room for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful as well as the meaningful.
      It is establishing a relationship in which:
      -- the independence is equal,
      -- the dependence is is mutual,
      -- and the obligations reciprocal.
      Perhaps the most important, marriage is not simply marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.

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      Almost 2000 years ago, a man defined love -- what it is and what it is not. He gave us a definition that has served men from all cultures and all faiths down through the ages. In part He wrote:
      Love is patient; love is kind; love knows no envy; love is no braggart; it is not inflated with its own importance; it does not behave gracelessly. Love does not insist on its rights; it never flies into a temper; it does not store up the memory of any wrong it has received.
      Love finds no pleasure in evil-doing; it rejoices with the truth; it can endure anything; it is completely trusting. Love never ceases to hope; it bears everything with triumphant fortitude.
      Love never fails....There is no limit to love's forbearance, its truth, its hope, its power to endure.

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Vows
(Please join hands)


      The contract of marriage is a deep and lasting commitment. It is to be entered into thoughtfully and seriously, and with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities.

      And now I ask, Vic, do you take Joan to be your wife and partner in life?
vic:       I do.

gary:       Joan, do you take Vic to be your husband and partner in life?
joan:       I do.

gary:       Vic, please take Joan's hand and repeat after me......
vic:       Joan, I commit my life to our partnership in marriage.
      I promise to comfort you and to encourage you in all walks of life.
      I promise to express my thoughts and emotions to you. I promise also to listen to you in times of joy and in times of sorrow.
      Joan, I truly do love you. You are my closest and dearest friend. Will you let me share my life and all that I am with you?
joan:       Yes.

gary:       Joan, please take Vic's hand and repeat after me......
joan:       Vic, I commit my life to our partnership in marriage.
      I promise to comfort you and to encourage you in all walks of life.
      I promise to express my thoughts and emotions to you. I promise to also listen to you in times of joy and in times of sorrow.
      Vic, I truly do love you. You are my closest and dearest friend. Will you let me share my life and all that I am with you?
vic:       Yes.

gary:       Now is the time for me to remind you to take the time to be gentle; remember that words harshly spoken do trouble the spirit.
      Take time to talk to each other; the secret to all understanding is in open communication.
      Don't be afraid to say what's on your mind; listen wisely.
      Always take time to remember that you chose one another to learn and to grow with; you each have something valuable to offer.
      Also take time to be alone, so that you can gather your innermost thoughts and share them with each other when you're together.
      Take the time to be thankful, thankful for what you have now and thankful for all that you will have in the future.
      You have chosen this path together; take the time to make it the way you want it to be. If change is needed, do it gracefully.
      Take the time to love, a loving partner is something we all need.
      Always, in marriage, take the time to give each other more.

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      And now we come to the ring portion of the ceremony. It carries with it significance in your lives for a number of reasons Joan and Vic.

      First, the ring is an endless circle signifying to both of you that your love is endless. I has no beginning and no end. Your love is forever.

      Then, gold represents the most precious of all materials. As you two become one here today, we know that this is a precious union founded in love and based on mutual understanding.

      The ring also is an outward symbol for all to see of your commitment and devotion to one another.


      Place the ring on the ring finger of the bride's left hand and repeat after me...
vic:       Joan, I give you this ring as a symbol and pledge of my constant faith and everlasting love for you. With this ring I thee wed.


gary:       Place the ring on the ring finger of the groom's left hand and repeat after me...
joan:       Vic, I give you this ring as a symbol and pledge of my constant faith and everlasting love for you. With this ring I thee wed.

gary:       Now that you have joined yourselves in solemn matrimony, may you strive all your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and devotion that you now possess.

      In marriage now, walk the path together, side by side, arm in arm whenever possible.
      Remember to hold each other when it is cold.
      If the air becomes too close, make a little space so each of you can breathe.
      When the path is narrow, pick one to go first. Always be willing to follow; don't be afraid to lead. Trust each other, trust yourself.

      Words to define this moment are hard to grasp. The most appropriate I have yet found come to us from the Apache Indian nation in an anonymous verse called simply, "The Apache Wedding Verse".

      Now you will feel no rain,
            for each of you will be shelter to the other.
      Now you will feel no cold,
            for each of you will be warmth to the other.
      Now there is no more loneliness,
            for each of you will be a companion to the other.
      Now there are two bodies,
            but there is only on life before you.

      I know I speak for everyone here today when I say, we want the very best of everything for you.




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p1 We're not mr & mrs yet. this is before the wedding while waiting for guests to arrive
p1 More of the same. We're in Scott & Jenn's just 'finished' backyard.
p1 Come on, let's get married already...
p1 Now we're on the steps going up to the top.
p1 Yeah, looks like she DOES love me
p1 Coming back down the hill
p1 Gary Granville (the Clerk of Orange County) is performing the ceremony
p1 OK, time's getting close
p1 Not sure what's gotten us so serious, but the script is posted here, maybe you can figure it out
p1 "With this ring......
p1 "I thee.....
p1 "wed."
p1 1st kiss as Mr. & Mrs. Victor A. Wagner, Jr.